Seeking Advice: Who to Ask and the Value of Thinking for Yourself
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In life, seeking advice is essential for growth, decision-making, and gaining new perspectives.
However, not all advice is created equal. Knowing who to ask for guidance and learning how to think critically about the advice you receive can make the difference between empowerment and confusion. This article explores the best ways to seek advice, the kinds of people to approach, and why thinking for yourself is the ultimate skill for navigating life wisely.
Why Seeking Advice Matters
Advice offers valuable insights and can prevent costly mistakes. Whether you’re facing personal dilemmas, career decisions, or life-changing choices, getting a second opinion is often helpful.
Experts and trusted mentors can open your eyes to options you hadn’t considered and help you grow by learning from their experience.
Who Should You Ask for Advice?
Choosing the right people to seek advice from is crucial. The quality of advice depends heavily on the advisor’s knowledge, integrity, and alignment with your values. Someone whose opinion I valued very much once told me to never take advice from anyone who wasn’t making at least a million dollars a year in the field they were advising me about. Balance that against what I tell people, “Free advice is worth every penny you paid.”
1. Trusted Mentors and Role Models
Mentors who have walked the path before you provide guidance based on real-world experience.
2. Family Members With Good Judgment
Close family often know you well and can offer personalized advice. However, beware of biases.
3. Friends Who Have Your Best Interest at Heart
True friends support your growth and offer honest feedback.
4. Professionals and Experts
For specialized issues like finances, health, or legal matters, seek licensed professionals.
5. Books and Reputable Online Resources
Sometimes advice comes in written form through trusted authors and experts.
Red Flags: Who Not to Ask for Advice
Not everyone’s opinion is helpful.
Avoid seeking advice from people who:
Are consistently negative or pessimistic.
Push their own agenda or manipulate you.
Lack experience or knowledge in the topic.
Are overly critical or dismissive of your perspective.
* I remember reading of the time Robert Herjavec, a well-respected businessman of Shark Tank fame, flew in to a business meeting with a group of young entrepreneurs, and presented them a proposal for a deal which would make everyone at the table a considerable amount of money. The young entrepreneurs, not wanting to make any mistakes, had asked their economics professor from university to join them in the meeting. The professor advised them against the deal, and when questioned, began listing all his degrees and credentials, implying that he was the smartest man in the room. His former students hesitated. And lost. Mr. Herjavec calmly held the contract up and ripped it in half, then left to board his private jet.
The Power of Thinking for Yourself: Why It Matters
While advice is helpful, thinking critically and independently is essential. No one knows your unique situation better than you do. I recall Mark Cuban on Shark Tank saying something to the effect of: never take advice from anyone who doesn’t have skin in the game, who doesn’t have to live with the consequences of following their advice.
I tell people, “Seek wise counsel, but always think for yourself.”
Thinking for yourself means analyzing advice carefully and comparing it against your own values, experiences, and intuition.
How to Evaluate Advice You Receive
1. Consider the Source
Is the advisor experienced, trustworthy, and unbiased?
2. Analyze the Advice Against Your Knowledge
Does it align with what you already know? Does it contradict your instincts without good reason?
3. Check for Practicality
Is the advice realistic and actionable in your current circumstances?
4. Reflect on Your Values and Goals
Does the advice support your long-term vision and ethical beliefs?
5. Seek Multiple Opinions
Get different perspectives to avoid blind spots.
The Role of Common Sense in Decision-Making
Common sense acts as your internal compass. It helps you filter advice by questioning:
Does this make sense logically?
Is it safe or risky?
Have I seen similar advice work before?
Using common sense alongside advice helps prevent blindly following others.
Learning When to Trust Yourself
Confidence in your own judgment grows with practice. Here are a few tips to strengthen self-trust:
Keep a decision journal tracking outcomes.
Learn from past mistakes without harsh judgment.
Take small risks to build confidence.
Practice mindfulness to connect with your intuition.
Balancing Advice and Independent Thinking: Real-Life Examples
Consider a young professional deciding whether to accept a new job offer. Friends advise staying at the current job for security, but a mentor suggests taking the risk for growth. By weighing these perspectives against personal career goals and common sense, the individual can make a well-informed decision.
The Pitfalls of Blindly Following Advice
Following advice without reflection can lead to regret, loss of autonomy, and dependency. It’s important to balance external input with your own critical thinking.
Building Your Inner Guide: The Ultimate Advisor
Your inner guide is your accumulated wisdom, intuition, and self-awareness. It grows stronger when you:
Reflect regularly on experiences.
Stay curious and open to learning.
Practice making decisions independently.
Final Thoughts: Master the Art of Seeking and Evaluating Advice
Seeking advice is an important skill, but it’s just one part of wise decision-making. The true power lies in thinking for yourself, combining external insights with your internal wisdom. By carefully choosing whom to ask, questioning the advice, and trusting your own judgment, you’ll make decisions that align with your unique path.