How to Build a Strong Relationship with Your Children or Grandchildren So They’ll Listen to Your Advice

Affiliate Disclosure
Some of the links on this blog are affiliate links. This means that if you click on a link and make a purchase, I may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I genuinely believe in. Thank you for your support!

In today’s fast-paced and constantly changing world, it can be difficult to connect with younger generations—especially when you're trying to give advice that comes from a place of deep life experience. Whether you're a parent or a grandparent, you’ve probably faced that moment when a child or teenager rolls their eyes, tunes you out, or simply walks away when you try to share your wisdom.

But what if there was a better way?

What if the key to making sure your children or grandchildren truly listen to you isn't about what you're saying… but how you're saying it—and how much you listen to them?

In this article, we’ll explore how to build a relationship grounded in mutual trust, active listening, and emotional safety—so that when the time comes for you to offer advice, they’ll actually hear you.

1. Trust Is the Foundation of Influence

Children and grandchildren don’t listen to just anyone—they listen to the people they trust. And trust isn’t something that comes with a title like “parent” or “grandparent.” It’s earned through consistent actions over time.

To build trust with your children or grandchildren:

• Keep your promises. If you say you'll show up, show up.

• Be consistent. Kids find safety in routine and predictability.

• Show respect. Even toddlers want to feel heard and validated.

Building trust with children means being reliable, emotionally available, and never using their vulnerability against them. Once they trust you, your words carry much more weight.

SEO Tip: Search phrases like how to earn a child's trust or ways to build trust with kids are high-interest parenting keywords.

2. Stop Preaching, Start Connecting

One of the most common mistakes adults make is turning every conversation into a life lesson or moral lecture. While your intentions may be good, kids and teens will often tune out if they feel they’re being talked at, not talked with.

Instead of always teaching, try connecting. That means:

• Asking questions about their world.

• Showing interest in their hobbies or music.

• Being curious, not critical.

A young person is much more likely to ask for your advice when they know you’re not going to judge them. Connection builds openness, and openness invites influence.

SEO Tip: Incorporate terms like how to connect with your child emotionally and ways to bond with your teenager.

3. Listen Twice As Much As You Speak

There’s a reason we have two ears and only one mouth. Listening—deep, active, empathetic listening—is the most powerful tool you have when it comes to guiding younger generations.

When kids or grandkids feel heard, they are more likely to be:

• Open to feedback

• Less defensive

• Emotionally secure

Active listening means making eye contact, not interrupting, and repeating back what they say in your own words to make sure you understand.

Example:

Child: “School sucks. I hate going.”
You: “It sounds like you’re feeling really frustrated with school right now. Want to tell me more about that?”

That simple act of validation builds emotional bridges that lectures can’t.

SEO Tip: Keywords like how to be a good listener as a parent and active listening with children are highly relevant.

4. Ask Before You Advise

Here’s a golden rule of giving advice that works with all ages: Ask permission first.

“Would you like to hear what I’ve learned from a similar situation?”
“Can I offer an idea that helped me when I was younger?”

This small gesture of respect tells them you value their autonomy and that your advice is a gift, not a command.

SEO Tip: Include phrases like how to give advice to teenagers and how to share life lessons with grandchildren.

5. Be Vulnerable About Your Own Mistakes

Kids respect people who are honest about their struggles. If you want to help them avoid your mistakes, don’t pretend you’re perfect.

Share stories like:

• A time you failed and learned from it

• A decision you regret and what you’d do differently

• A challenge you overcame with patience and persistence

This shows them that mistakes are part of the journey and that even adults are still learning and growing.

SEO Tip: Use keywords like sharing mistakes with children or being honest with your kids about the past.

6. Create Safe, Judgment-Free Conversations

If your children or grandchildren believe that telling you the truth will lead to yelling, criticism, or punishment, they’ll stop opening up.

You want to be the person they turn to—not the one they hide from.

Create a safe space by:

• Staying calm, even when you’re shocked

• Asking more questions than you give answers

• Letting them talk without rushing to fix things

When they feel emotionally safe, they’re far more receptive to advice later on.

7. Spend Quality Time Without an Agenda

You don’t always need a “teachable moment.” Some of the best relationships between adults and kids are built during quiet, shared activities like:

• Cooking dinner together

• Going for walks

• Playing games

• Gardening

• Fishing or hiking

These moments build emotional equity. Later, when you do have something important to say, they’ll be more inclined to listen because the relationship already exists.

8. Respect Their Perspective

Even if you disagree with their choices, feelings, or opinions, show respect. Saying things like “That’s ridiculous” or “You’ll understand when you’re older” instantly shuts down communication.

Instead, say:

• “I can see why you’d feel that way.”

• “Tell me more about what makes you think that.”

• “That’s an interesting way to look at it.”

Validation doesn’t mean agreement—it means acknowledgment. And acknowledgment is the gateway to influence.

9. Be the Example You Want Them to Follow

Children and grandchildren are always watching. If you tell them to stay calm but constantly lose your temper… or say they should be honest while you tell little white lies… your advice won’t land.

The best advice is modeled, not spoken.

• Show respect to others

• Practice patience

• Apologize when you’re wrong

• Live your values out loud

When your words and actions align, your wisdom has real power.

10. Know When to Stay Silent

Sometimes, the most respectful thing you can do is simply listen and let them figure things out on their own. Just being there—without solving, fixing, or advising—can be the biggest gift you offer.

Let them come to you when they’re ready.

And when they do? You’ll have already earned the right to be heard.

Final Thoughts: Influence Is a Byproduct of Relationship

Being a parent or grandparent doesn’t guarantee influence.

But a trusting, respectful, listening-centered relationship almost always leads to one.

If you want to give advice that matters—advice that lasts—start by listening more, judging less, and showing up consistently.

Children and grandchildren don’t need perfect adults.
They need honest, caring, patient ones.

And when the time is right… they’ll come to you.